Take me out to the Witchtrails

Father and his seven year old son
go to a ballgame at Comerica Park
in Detroit to watch the Tigers
play visiting Chicago on a Chilly
April Calendar Day Saturday afternoon.

Dad’s a Classical Archaeology tenured Professor
at Michigan University. Knows about
ancient burial sites in Turkey more than something
called Mike’s Hard Lemonade.

His kid gets thirsty at the game,
so the old man buys him something to drink.
Figures the seven buck a pop bottle of lemonade
is just way it is at the ball park these days.
Figures lemonade is probably better for his little
one than soda, less sugar.

So they go to their seats in section 114
watch the game, which the Tigers
end up dropping to 5 to 3.
But neither of them are around to see the end.

Because in the top of the 9th a presumably bored
Stadium Security Guard notices the kid drinking
out the bottle of Mike’s Hard Lemonade and asks
the father if he knows that the stuff contains
five percent booze, thus allowing a minor to consume
an alcoholic beverage ?

  Dad goes, “No…you’ve got to be kidding me…I never thought…..”

  Guard doesn’t let him finish. Radios for Stadium Police for back up.

  Just following procedure.

   Stadium police hustle the Prof and his boy to the First Aide Station under the
stands at Comerica. Little boy under goes medical evaluation by on-duty
attending Physician.  Dad gets interviewed by the cop. Says it’s all a big mistake.
Didn’t know it was spiked lemonade. Didn’t even know they made such a thing.
Police can see the guy is probably telling the truth. Not the kind of guy to be
feeding his kid drinks in public.


     Meanwhile the Doc looks over the little boy. Seems fine. Well taken care of.
Not exhibiting any outward signs of intoxication/inebriation. However does admit to
have a little “tummy ache.”

   Police officer and Doctor talk over the situation. Both agree it’s all just an honest
misunderstanding, but neither one wants to sign off on that on the official report
of an allegation of providing alcohol to a minor. A very young minor.
So mistake or child abuse/neglect ?

  They decide they better follow procedure.

Next Dad and Kid get a ride in an Ambulance to local ER for further evaluation.

   ER Resident gives the kid a blood test. Results come back negative. No trace of
alcohol in the little boy’s blood. Seems completely normal. Well. He did cry a little.
Didn’t like the needle. Get’s worse.

  Following procedure ER has to inform Child Protection Services. They arrive on the scene promptly. Interview all concerned.
 The police officer, the father, the kid, the ER lab tech.
Everyone comes in completely in agreement. Just a misunderstanding.

 However the little boy is under no circumstances allowed to leave with his father
considering the circumstances and further investigation. Child must be placed in an
emergency foster/safe home for the weekend.

   Just following procedure.

  It will be two day till on Tuesday Morning local Circuit judge who handles
preliminary investigative information from CPS determines
that the child can return home to his mother. But only if her husband, the professor
moves out to a hotel till all this can be thoroughly sorted out.

   Just following procedure.

  It will be week till Dad will be allowed to return to his own house.

  And that’s the end of that. No moral. Reason. Warning. Apology.

  If fact if anything I’m the one who is really sorry here that all this doesn’t
make for a better poem.

 Guess I’m just…..

   just following procedure.
                                                                                               VQ May 08